Wednesday, 11 May 2011
Monday, 2 May 2011
Jazz in de Havelaar!
DE HAVELAAR |
Peter Guidi presenteert: De Jazz Generation & Jazz Focus Big Band |
ZONDAG 15 mei 2011 14.00-17.00 uur a.l. entree € 3,- reserveren noodzakelijk |
BC DE Havelaar Douwes Dekkerstraat 2 1053 SX Amsterdam 020-6890711 |
Monday, 25 April 2011
Apple for Tutor
AutoStrade remain an interesting phenomenon in Italy. The motorway network is huge. It also remains a source of amusement, irritation and occasional incomprehension.
In one of the most beautiful countries on earth, with a great tradition of design, the motorways are incredibly ugly and illogical. As soon as you cross the border, you have to pay a nominal two-euro fee for the first few miles. As soon as you reach Milan, you are repeatedly informed that the only way to Bologna is to stay in the outside (far left) lane. Until you have circumvented the whole of Milan only to discover that all three lanes of the motorway go to Bologna. Why are there no international agreements on signposting? And do the Italians really think it’s easy to read such a vast number of signs if you also have some in white on blue, some in white on green and the rest in black on white?
Then you discover that the whole length of motorway from Milan to Rimini has now been fitted with that wonderful invention “Tutor”, i.e., your average speed is metered all the way and your GPS tends to bleep continuously if you touch 130.
I have also discovered the disadvantages of such a speed-control system. One percent is content to pootle along at 100 in the inside lane. There are still some that try to race at 200 km/hr in the outside lane but 90% chugs along at 127 km/hr in the middle lane, with occasional attempts to overtake at 131 km/hr. So the inside lane is empty, the middle lane is always blocked and the outside lane is very dangerous with some cars trying to do 200 and others 130.
I couldn’t believe that was the intention of the project until we reached Bologna, where it became apparent that the inside lane was apparently permanently closed, to prevent people blocking the middle lane, I suppose, because now there wasn’t one.
I still wonder who those are that race at 200. Do they know the system doesn’t work? Are they police offers or Mafia who can bribe the Tutor?
In one of the most beautiful countries on earth, with a great tradition of design, the motorways are incredibly ugly and illogical. As soon as you cross the border, you have to pay a nominal two-euro fee for the first few miles. As soon as you reach Milan, you are repeatedly informed that the only way to Bologna is to stay in the outside (far left) lane. Until you have circumvented the whole of Milan only to discover that all three lanes of the motorway go to Bologna. Why are there no international agreements on signposting? And do the Italians really think it’s easy to read such a vast number of signs if you also have some in white on blue, some in white on green and the rest in black on white?
I have also discovered the disadvantages of such a speed-control system. One percent is content to pootle along at 100 in the inside lane. There are still some that try to race at 200 km/hr in the outside lane but 90% chugs along at 127 km/hr in the middle lane, with occasional attempts to overtake at 131 km/hr. So the inside lane is empty, the middle lane is always blocked and the outside lane is very dangerous with some cars trying to do 200 and others 130.
I couldn’t believe that was the intention of the project until we reached Bologna, where it became apparent that the inside lane was apparently permanently closed, to prevent people blocking the middle lane, I suppose, because now there wasn’t one.
I still wonder who those are that race at 200. Do they know the system doesn’t work? Are they police offers or Mafia who can bribe the Tutor?
Monday, 11 April 2011
Alerts to Year 2011 Threats in Europe
BY JOHN CLEESE
The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist threats and have therefore raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved." Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross." The English have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies nearly ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to "A Bloody Nuisance." The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was in 1588, when threatened by the Spanish Armada.
The Scots have raised their threat level from "Pissed Off" to "Let's get the Bastards." They don't have any other levels. This is the reason they have been used on the front line of the British army for the last 300 years.
The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide." The only two higher levels in France are "Collaborate" and "Surrender." The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France 's white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country's military capability.
Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout Loudly and Excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more levels remain: "Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides."
The Germans have increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance" to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs." They also have two higher levels: "Invade a Neighbor" and "Lose."
Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual; the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels .
The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.
Australia , meanwhile, has raised its security level from "No worries" to "She'll be alright, Mate." Two more escalation levels remain: "Crikey! I think we'll need to cancel the barbie this weekend!" and "The barbie is canceled." So far no situation has ever warranted use of the final escalation level.
-- John Cleese - British writer, actor and tall person
The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist threats and have therefore raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved." Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross." The English have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies nearly ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to "A Bloody Nuisance." The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was in 1588, when threatened by the Spanish Armada.
The Scots have raised their threat level from "Pissed Off" to "Let's get the Bastards." They don't have any other levels. This is the reason they have been used on the front line of the British army for the last 300 years.
The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide." The only two higher levels in France are "Collaborate" and "Surrender." The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France 's white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country's military capability.
Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout Loudly and Excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more levels remain: "Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides."
The Germans have increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance" to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs." They also have two higher levels: "Invade a Neighbor" and "Lose."
Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual; the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels .
The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.
Australia , meanwhile, has raised its security level from "No worries" to "She'll be alright, Mate." Two more escalation levels remain: "Crikey! I think we'll need to cancel the barbie this weekend!" and "The barbie is canceled." So far no situation has ever warranted use of the final escalation level.
-- John Cleese - British writer, actor and tall person
I have nothing to add!
Thursday, 17 March 2011
Taxi?
Taxi? Zittend ziekenvervoer?* Veevervoer? Ergens is er een taalkundig probleem ontstaan.
Als je dagelijks naar het ziekenhuis moet voor een zware behandeling, mag je wel een beroep doen op de verzekering om voor vervoer te zorgen, maar dat willen ze liever niet. Dus dan maar in een bestelwagen, stinkend naar rook , scheurend door de stad, via kinderboerderijen en achterafstraatjes in West over hobbels en op sterk wisselende snelheden. Een normaal mens zou al misselijk worden, laat staan iemand die chemotherapie of bestraling moet krijgen of heeft gekregen, iemand met darmen al van streek die ook nog last heeft van wagenziekte.
Wanneer het busje precies langs komt is ook een gok. Voor een rit van 15 minuten rekent Connexxion dat je 45 minuten van te voren moet vertrekken – en dat is ook plus of min 15 minuten. Op die manier ben je vooraf minstens een uur kwijt. En weer terug is het nog langer – het kost 10 minuten om iemand aan de lijn te krijgen die je dan vertelt dat je nog een half uur mag wachten op een busje. Die vervolgens langs andere adressen moet. Een goede GPS ontbreekt, dus het is vaak zoeken in delen van de stad met grote woonblokken.
Dan is de tram toch nog aantrekkelijker. Iemand die ziek is en zorg nodig heeft zou op een “taxi” kunnen rekenen, maar je krijgt “veevervoer”… na 94 euro per jaar eigen risico te moeten betalen. Alsof de ziekte zelf niet al genoeg risico is. Wij zijn veroordeeld tot verzekeringsmaatschappijen. Niet alleen als je auto rijdt, maar in alle facetten van de maatschappij – niet te vergeten de Zorg. En verzekeraars willen natuurlijk zo veel mogelijk geld ontvangen en zo min mogelijk uitgeven. Dankzij “verzekeringen” kost onze zorg tweekeer zoveel en gaat al dat geld richting Apeldoorn of Amersfoort.
En wat de verzekering betreft – hoe meer je verdient, hoe meer je betaalt en blijkbaar hoe minder recht je hebt op hulp.
*zittend ziekenvervoer is eigen vervoer, openbaar vervoer en taxi-/rolstoelvervoer
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